diff --git a/app/models/badge.rb b/app/models/badge.rb
index 38011348a..3bee2e6be 100644
--- a/app/models/badge.rb
+++ b/app/models/badge.rb
@@ -1,16 +1,22 @@
 class Badge < ActiveRecord::Base
-  # badge ids
+  # NOTE: These badge ids are not in order! They are grouped logically. When picking an id
+  # search for it.
+
   Welcome = 5
   NicePost = 6
   GoodPost = 7
   GreatPost = 8
   Autobiographer = 9
   Editor = 10
+
   FirstLike = 11
   FirstShare = 12
   FirstFlag = 13
   FirstLink = 14
   FirstQuote = 15
+  FirstMention = 40
+  FirstEmoji = 41
+
   ReadGuidelines = 16
   Reader = 17
   NiceTopic = 18
@@ -58,13 +64,14 @@ class Badge < ActiveRecord::Base
     PostRevision = 2
     TrustLevelChange = 4
     UserChange = 8
+    PostProcessed = 16
 
     def self.is_none?(trigger)
       [None].include? trigger
     end
 
     def self.uses_user_ids?(trigger)
-      [TrustLevelChange, UserChange].include? trigger
+      [TrustLevelChange, UserChange, PostProcessed].include? trigger
     end
 
     def self.uses_post_ids?(trigger)
@@ -72,240 +79,6 @@ class Badge < ActiveRecord::Base
     end
   end
 
-  module Queries
-
-    Reader = <<SQL
-    SELECT id user_id, current_timestamp granted_at
-    FROM users
-    WHERE id IN
-    (
-      SELECT pt.user_id
-      FROM post_timings pt
-      JOIN badge_posts b ON b.post_number = pt.post_number AND
-                            b.topic_id = pt.topic_id
-      JOIN topics t ON t.id = pt.topic_id
-      LEFT JOIN user_badges ub ON ub.badge_id = 17 AND ub.user_id = pt.user_id
-      WHERE ub.id IS NULL AND t.posts_count > 100
-      GROUP BY pt.user_id, pt.topic_id, t.posts_count
-      HAVING count(*) >= t.posts_count
-    )
-SQL
-
-    ReadGuidelines = <<SQL
-    SELECT user_id, read_faq granted_at
-    FROM user_stats
-    WHERE read_faq IS NOT NULL AND (user_id IN (:user_ids) OR :backfill)
-SQL
-
-    FirstQuote = <<SQL
-    SELECT ids.user_id, q.post_id, q.created_at granted_at
-    FROM
-    (
-      SELECT p1.user_id, MIN(q1.id) id
-      FROM quoted_posts q1
-      JOIN badge_posts p1 ON p1.id = q1.post_id
-      JOIN badge_posts p2 ON p2.id = q1.quoted_post_id
-      WHERE (:backfill OR ( p1.id IN (:post_ids) ))
-      GROUP BY p1.user_id
-    ) ids
-    JOIN quoted_posts q ON q.id = ids.id
-SQL
-
-    FirstLink = <<SQL
-    SELECT l.user_id, l.post_id, l.created_at granted_at
-    FROM
-    (
-      SELECT MIN(l1.id) id
-      FROM topic_links l1
-      JOIN badge_posts p1 ON p1.id = l1.post_id
-      JOIN badge_posts p2 ON p2.id = l1.link_post_id
-      WHERE NOT reflection AND p1.topic_id <> p2.topic_id AND not quote AND
-        (:backfill OR ( p1.id in (:post_ids) ))
-      GROUP BY l1.user_id
-    ) ids
-    JOIN topic_links l ON l.id = ids.id
-SQL
-
-    FirstShare = <<SQL
-    SELECT views.user_id, i2.post_id, i2.created_at granted_at
-    FROM
-    (
-      SELECT i.user_id, MIN(i.id) i_id
-      FROM incoming_links i
-      JOIN badge_posts p on p.id = i.post_id
-      WHERE i.user_id IS NOT NULL
-      GROUP BY i.user_id
-    ) as views
-    JOIN incoming_links i2 ON i2.id = views.i_id
-SQL
-
-    FirstFlag = <<SQL
-    SELECT pa1.user_id, pa1.created_at granted_at, pa1.post_id
-    FROM (
-      SELECT pa.user_id, min(pa.id) id
-      FROM post_actions pa
-      JOIN badge_posts p on p.id = pa.post_id
-      WHERE post_action_type_id IN (#{PostActionType.flag_types.values.join(",")}) AND
-        (:backfill OR pa.post_id IN (:post_ids) )
-      GROUP BY pa.user_id
-    ) x
-    JOIN post_actions pa1 on pa1.id = x.id
-SQL
-
-    FirstLike = <<SQL
-    SELECT pa1.user_id, pa1.created_at granted_at, pa1.post_id
-    FROM (
-      SELECT pa.user_id, min(pa.id) id
-      FROM post_actions pa
-      JOIN badge_posts p on p.id = pa.post_id
-      WHERE post_action_type_id = 2 AND
-        (:backfill OR pa.post_id IN (:post_ids) )
-      GROUP BY pa.user_id
-    ) x
-    JOIN post_actions pa1 on pa1.id = x.id
-SQL
-
-    # Incorrect, but good enough - (earlies post edited vs first edit)
-    Editor = <<SQL
-    SELECT p.user_id, min(p.id) post_id, min(p.created_at) granted_at
-    FROM badge_posts p
-    WHERE p.self_edits > 0 AND
-        (:backfill OR p.id IN (:post_ids) )
-    GROUP BY p.user_id
-SQL
-
-    Welcome = <<SQL
-    SELECT p.user_id, min(post_id) post_id, min(pa.created_at) granted_at
-    FROM post_actions pa
-    JOIN badge_posts p on p.id = pa.post_id
-    WHERE post_action_type_id = 2 AND
-        (:backfill OR pa.post_id IN (:post_ids) )
-    GROUP BY p.user_id
-SQL
-
-    Autobiographer = <<SQL
-    SELECT u.id user_id, current_timestamp granted_at
-    FROM users u
-    JOIN user_profiles up on u.id = up.user_id
-    WHERE bio_raw IS NOT NULL AND LENGTH(TRIM(bio_raw)) > #{Badge::AutobiographerMinBioLength} AND
-          uploaded_avatar_id IS NOT NULL AND
-          (:backfill OR u.id IN (:user_ids) )
-SQL
-
-    # member for a year + has posted at least once during that year
-    OneYearAnniversary = <<-SQL
-    SELECT u.id AS user_id, MIN(u.created_at + interval '1 year') AS granted_at
-      FROM users u
-      JOIN posts p ON p.user_id = u.id
-     WHERE u.id > 0
-       AND u.active
-       AND NOT u.blocked
-       AND u.created_at + interval '1 year' < now()
-       AND p.deleted_at IS NULL
-       AND NOT p.hidden
-       AND p.created_at + interval '1 year' > now()
-       AND (:backfill OR u.id IN (:user_ids))
-     GROUP BY u.id
-     HAVING COUNT(p.id) > 0
-SQL
-
-    def self.invite_badge(count,trust_level)
-"
-    SELECT u.id user_id, current_timestamp granted_at
-    FROM users u
-    WHERE u.id IN (
-      SELECT invited_by_id
-      FROM invites i
-      JOIN users u2 ON u2.id = i.user_id
-      WHERE i.deleted_at IS NULL AND u2.active AND u2.trust_level >= #{trust_level.to_i} AND not u2.blocked
-      GROUP BY invited_by_id
-      HAVING COUNT(*) >= #{count.to_i}
-    ) AND u.active AND NOT u.blocked AND u.id > 0 AND
-      (:backfill OR u.id IN (:user_ids) )
-"
-    end
-
-    def self.like_badge(count, is_topic)
-      # we can do better with dates, but its hard work
-"
-    SELECT p.user_id, p.id post_id, p.updated_at granted_at
-    FROM badge_posts p
-    WHERE #{is_topic ? "p.post_number = 1" : "p.post_number > 1" } AND p.like_count >= #{count.to_i} AND
-      (:backfill OR p.id IN (:post_ids) )
-"
-    end
-
-    def self.trust_level(level)
-      # we can do better with dates, but its hard work figuring this out historically
-"
-    SELECT u.id user_id, current_timestamp granted_at FROM users u
-    WHERE trust_level >= #{level.to_i} AND (
-      :backfill OR u.id IN (:user_ids)
-    )
-"
-    end
-
-    def self.sharing_badge(count)
-<<SQL
-    SELECT views.user_id, i2.post_id, current_timestamp granted_at
-    FROM
-    (
-      SELECT i.user_id, MIN(i.id) i_id
-      FROM incoming_links i
-      JOIN badge_posts p on p.id = i.post_id
-      WHERE i.user_id IS NOT NULL
-      GROUP BY i.user_id,i.post_id
-      HAVING COUNT(*) > #{count}
-    ) as views
-    JOIN incoming_links i2 ON i2.id = views.i_id
-SQL
-    end
-
-    def self.linking_badge(count)
-      <<-SQL
-          SELECT tl.user_id, post_id, current_timestamp granted_at
-            FROM topic_links tl
-            JOIN posts p  ON p.id = post_id    AND p.deleted_at IS NULL
-            JOIN topics t ON t.id = p.topic_id AND t.deleted_at IS NULL AND t.archetype <> 'private_message'
-           WHERE NOT tl.internal
-             AND tl.clicks >= #{count}
-        GROUP BY tl.user_id, tl.post_id
-      SQL
-    end
-
-    def self.liked_posts(post_count, like_count)
-      <<-SQL
-        SELECT p.user_id, current_timestamp AS granted_at
-        FROM posts AS p
-        WHERE p.like_count >= #{like_count}
-          AND (:backfill OR p.user_id IN (:user_ids))
-        GROUP BY p.user_id
-        HAVING count(*) > #{post_count}
-      SQL
-    end
-
-    def self.like_rate_limit(count)
-      <<-SQL
-        SELECT gdl.user_id, current_timestamp AS granted_at
-        FROM given_daily_likes AS gdl
-        WHERE gdl.limit_reached
-          AND (:backfill OR gdl.user_id IN (:user_ids))
-        GROUP BY gdl.user_id
-        HAVING COUNT(*) >= #{count}
-      SQL
-    end
-
-    def self.liked_back(likes_received, likes_given)
-      <<-SQL
-        SELECT us.user_id, current_timestamp AS granted_at
-        FROM user_stats AS us
-        WHERE us.likes_received >= #{likes_received}
-          AND us.likes_given >= #{likes_given}
-          AND (:backfill OR us.user_id IN (:user_ids))
-      SQL
-    end
-  end
-
   belongs_to :badge_type
   belongs_to :badge_grouping
 
@@ -433,6 +206,7 @@ SQL
   end
 
   protected
+
   def ensure_not_system
     unless id
       self.id = [Badge.maximum(:id) + 1, 100].max
diff --git a/app/models/user_first.rb b/app/models/user_first.rb
new file mode 100644
index 000000000..6a953b5d1
--- /dev/null
+++ b/app/models/user_first.rb
@@ -0,0 +1,14 @@
+class UserFirst < ActiveRecord::Base
+
+  def self.types
+    @types ||= Enum.new(used_emoji: 1, mentioned_user: 2)
+  end
+
+  def self.create_for(user_id, type, post_id=nil)
+    create!(user_id: user_id, first_type: types[type], post_id: post_id)
+    true
+  rescue PG::UniqueViolation, ActiveRecord::RecordNotUnique
+    # Violating the index just means the user already did it
+    false
+  end
+end
diff --git a/app/services/badge_granter.rb b/app/services/badge_granter.rb
index 7655329d4..89056a6ec 100644
--- a/app/services/badge_granter.rb
+++ b/app/services/badge_granter.rb
@@ -102,6 +102,12 @@ class BadgeGranter
         type: "PostAction",
         post_ids: [action.post_id, action.related_post_id].compact!
       }
+    when Badge::Trigger::PostProcessed
+      user = opt[:user]
+      payload = {
+        type: "PostProcessed",
+        user_ids: [user.id]
+      }
     end
 
     $redis.lpush queue_key, payload.to_json if payload
diff --git a/config/locales/client.en.yml b/config/locales/client.en.yml
index aca521dcd..e1fb3ff26 100644
--- a/config/locales/client.en.yml
+++ b/config/locales/client.en.yml
@@ -2738,6 +2738,7 @@ en:
           post_revision: "When a user edits or creates a post"
           trust_level_change: "When a user changes trust level"
           user_change: "When a user is edited or created"
+          post_processed: "After a post is processed"
         preview:
           link_text: "Preview granted badges"
           plan_text: "Preview with query plan"
diff --git a/db/fixtures/006_badges.rb b/db/fixtures/006_badges.rb
index bb2e9fba0..22ab975cd 100644
--- a/db/fixtures/006_badges.rb
+++ b/db/fixtures/006_badges.rb
@@ -1,3 +1,4 @@
+require 'badge_queries'
 
 BadgeGrouping.seed do |g|
   g.id = BadgeGrouping::GettingStarted
@@ -50,7 +51,7 @@ trust_level_badges.each do |spec|
     b.id = spec[:id]
     b.default_name = spec[:name]
     b.badge_type_id = spec[:type]
-    b.query = Badge::Queries.trust_level(spec[:id])
+    b.query = BadgeQueries.trust_level(spec[:id])
     b.default_badge_grouping_id = BadgeGrouping::TrustLevel
     b.trigger = Badge::Trigger::TrustLevelChange
 
@@ -68,7 +69,7 @@ Badge.seed do |b|
   b.multiple_grant = false
   b.target_posts = false
   b.show_posts = false
-  b.query = Badge::Queries::Reader
+  b.query = BadgeQueries::Reader
   b.default_badge_grouping_id = BadgeGrouping::GettingStarted
   b.auto_revoke = false
   b.system = true
@@ -81,7 +82,7 @@ Badge.seed do |b|
   b.multiple_grant = false
   b.target_posts = false
   b.show_posts = false
-  b.query = Badge::Queries::ReadGuidelines
+  b.query = BadgeQueries::ReadGuidelines
   b.default_badge_grouping_id = BadgeGrouping::GettingStarted
   b.trigger = Badge::Trigger::UserChange
   b.system = true
@@ -94,7 +95,7 @@ Badge.seed do |b|
   b.multiple_grant = false
   b.target_posts = true
   b.show_posts = true
-  b.query = Badge::Queries::FirstLink
+  b.query = BadgeQueries::FirstLink
   b.default_badge_grouping_id = BadgeGrouping::GettingStarted
   b.trigger = Badge::Trigger::PostRevision
   b.system = true
@@ -107,7 +108,7 @@ Badge.seed do |b|
   b.multiple_grant = false
   b.target_posts = true
   b.show_posts = true
-  b.query = Badge::Queries::FirstQuote
+  b.query = BadgeQueries::FirstQuote
   b.default_badge_grouping_id = BadgeGrouping::GettingStarted
   b.trigger = Badge::Trigger::PostRevision
   b.system = true
@@ -120,7 +121,7 @@ Badge.seed do |b|
   b.multiple_grant = false
   b.target_posts = true
   b.show_posts = true
-  b.query = Badge::Queries::FirstLike
+  b.query = BadgeQueries::FirstLike
   b.default_badge_grouping_id = BadgeGrouping::GettingStarted
   b.trigger = Badge::Trigger::PostAction
   b.system = true
@@ -133,7 +134,7 @@ Badge.seed do |b|
   b.multiple_grant = false
   b.target_posts = true
   b.show_posts = false
-  b.query = Badge::Queries::FirstFlag
+  b.query = BadgeQueries::FirstFlag
   b.badge_grouping_id = BadgeGrouping::GettingStarted
   b.default_badge_grouping_id = BadgeGrouping::GettingStarted
   b.trigger = Badge::Trigger::PostAction
@@ -154,7 +155,7 @@ end
     b.multiple_grant = false
     b.target_posts = false
     b.show_posts = false
-    b.query = Badge::Queries.invite_badge(count,trust_level)
+    b.query = BadgeQueries.invite_badge(count,trust_level)
     b.default_badge_grouping_id = BadgeGrouping::Community
     # daily is good enough
     b.trigger = Badge::Trigger::None
@@ -170,7 +171,7 @@ Badge.seed do |b|
   b.multiple_grant = false
   b.target_posts = true
   b.show_posts = true
-  b.query = Badge::Queries::FirstShare
+  b.query = BadgeQueries::FirstShare
   b.default_badge_grouping_id = BadgeGrouping::GettingStarted
   # don't trigger for now, its too expensive
   b.trigger = Badge::Trigger::None
@@ -191,7 +192,7 @@ end
     b.multiple_grant = true
     b.target_posts = true
     b.show_posts = true
-    b.query = Badge::Queries.sharing_badge(count)
+    b.query = BadgeQueries.sharing_badge(count)
     b.default_badge_grouping_id = BadgeGrouping::Community
     # don't trigger for now, its too expensive
     b.trigger = Badge::Trigger::None
@@ -206,7 +207,7 @@ Badge.seed do |b|
   b.multiple_grant = false
   b.target_posts = true
   b.show_posts = true
-  b.query = Badge::Queries::Welcome
+  b.query = BadgeQueries::Welcome
   b.default_badge_grouping_id = BadgeGrouping::Community
   b.trigger = Badge::Trigger::PostAction
   b.system = true
@@ -217,7 +218,7 @@ Badge.seed do |b|
   b.default_name = "Autobiographer"
   b.badge_type_id = BadgeType::Bronze
   b.multiple_grant = false
-  b.query = Badge::Queries::Autobiographer
+  b.query = BadgeQueries::Autobiographer
   b.default_badge_grouping_id = BadgeGrouping::GettingStarted
   b.trigger = Badge::Trigger::UserChange
   b.system = true
@@ -228,7 +229,7 @@ Badge.seed do |b|
   b.default_name = "Editor"
   b.badge_type_id = BadgeType::Bronze
   b.multiple_grant = false
-  b.query = Badge::Queries::Editor
+  b.query = BadgeQueries::Editor
   b.badge_grouping_id = BadgeGrouping::GettingStarted
   b.default_badge_grouping_id = BadgeGrouping::GettingStarted
   b.trigger = Badge::Trigger::PostRevision
@@ -254,7 +255,7 @@ like_badges.each do |spec|
     b.multiple_grant = true
     b.target_posts = true
     b.show_posts = true
-    b.query = Badge::Queries.like_badge(Badge.like_badge_counts[spec[:id]], spec[:topic])
+    b.query = BadgeQueries.like_badge(Badge.like_badge_counts[spec[:id]], spec[:topic])
     b.default_badge_grouping_id = BadgeGrouping::Posting
     b.trigger = Badge::Trigger::PostAction
     b.system = true
@@ -266,7 +267,7 @@ Badge.seed do |b|
   b.default_name = "Anniversary"
   b.default_icon = "fa-clock-o"
   b.badge_type_id = BadgeType::Silver
-  b.query = Badge::Queries::OneYearAnniversary
+  b.query = BadgeQueries::OneYearAnniversary
   b.default_badge_grouping_id = BadgeGrouping::Community
   b.trigger = Badge::Trigger::None
   b.auto_revoke = false
@@ -286,7 +287,7 @@ end
     b.multiple_grant = true
     b.target_posts = true
     b.show_posts = true
-    b.query = Badge::Queries.linking_badge(count)
+    b.query = BadgeQueries.linking_badge(count)
     b.badge_grouping_id = BadgeGrouping::Posting
     b.default_badge_grouping_id = BadgeGrouping::Posting
     # don't trigger for now, its too expensive
@@ -307,7 +308,7 @@ end
     b.default_name = name
     b.default_icon = "fa-heart"
     b.badge_type_id = level
-    b.query = Badge::Queries.liked_posts(post_count, like_count)
+    b.query = BadgeQueries.liked_posts(post_count, like_count)
     b.default_badge_grouping_id = BadgeGrouping::Community
     b.trigger = Badge::Trigger::None
     b.auto_revoke = false
@@ -327,7 +328,7 @@ end
     b.default_name = name
     b.default_icon = "fa-heart"
     b.badge_type_id = level
-    b.query = Badge::Queries.liked_back(count, ratio)
+    b.query = BadgeQueries.liked_back(count, ratio)
     b.badge_grouping_id = BadgeGrouping::Community
     b.default_badge_grouping_id = BadgeGrouping::Community
     b.trigger = Badge::Trigger::None
@@ -348,7 +349,7 @@ end
     b.default_name = name
     b.default_icon = "fa-heart"
     b.badge_type_id = level
-    b.query = Badge::Queries.like_rate_limit(count)
+    b.query = BadgeQueries.like_rate_limit(count)
     b.badge_grouping_id = BadgeGrouping::Community
     b.default_badge_grouping_id = BadgeGrouping::Community
     b.trigger = Badge::Trigger::None
@@ -357,6 +358,31 @@ end
   end
 end
 
+Badge.seed do |b|
+  b.id = Badge::FirstMention
+  b.default_name = "First Mention"
+  b.badge_type_id = BadgeType::Bronze
+  b.multiple_grant = false
+  b.target_posts = true
+  b.show_posts = true
+  b.query = BadgeQueries.has_user_first(:mentioned_user)
+  b.default_badge_grouping_id = BadgeGrouping::GettingStarted
+  b.trigger = Badge::Trigger::PostProcessed
+  b.system = true
+end
+
+Badge.seed do |b|
+  b.id = Badge::FirstEmoji
+  b.default_name = "First Emoji"
+  b.badge_type_id = BadgeType::Bronze
+  b.multiple_grant = false
+  b.target_posts = true
+  b.show_posts = true
+  b.query = BadgeQueries.has_user_first(:used_emoji)
+  b.default_badge_grouping_id = BadgeGrouping::GettingStarted
+  b.trigger = Badge::Trigger::PostProcessed
+  b.system = true
+end
 
 Badge.where("NOT system AND id < 100").each do |badge|
   new_id = [Badge.maximum(:id) + 1, 100].max
diff --git a/db/migrate/20160405172827_create_user_firsts.rb b/db/migrate/20160405172827_create_user_firsts.rb
new file mode 100644
index 000000000..87dc3ed73
--- /dev/null
+++ b/db/migrate/20160405172827_create_user_firsts.rb
@@ -0,0 +1,12 @@
+class CreateUserFirsts < ActiveRecord::Migration
+  def change
+    create_table :user_firsts, force: true do |t|
+      t.integer :user_id, null: false
+      t.integer :first_type, null: false
+      t.integer :post_id
+      t.datetime :created_at, null: false
+    end
+
+    add_index :user_firsts, [:user_id, :first_type], unique: true
+  end
+end
diff --git a/lib/badge_queries.rb b/lib/badge_queries.rb
new file mode 100644
index 000000000..f32bbf7cf
--- /dev/null
+++ b/lib/badge_queries.rb
@@ -0,0 +1,242 @@
+module BadgeQueries
+  Reader = <<SQL
+  SELECT id user_id, current_timestamp granted_at
+  FROM users
+  WHERE id IN
+  (
+    SELECT pt.user_id
+    FROM post_timings pt
+    JOIN badge_posts b ON b.post_number = pt.post_number AND
+                          b.topic_id = pt.topic_id
+    JOIN topics t ON t.id = pt.topic_id
+    LEFT JOIN user_badges ub ON ub.badge_id = 17 AND ub.user_id = pt.user_id
+    WHERE ub.id IS NULL AND t.posts_count > 100
+    GROUP BY pt.user_id, pt.topic_id, t.posts_count
+    HAVING count(*) >= t.posts_count
+  )
+SQL
+
+  ReadGuidelines = <<SQL
+  SELECT user_id, read_faq granted_at
+  FROM user_stats
+  WHERE read_faq IS NOT NULL AND (user_id IN (:user_ids) OR :backfill)
+SQL
+
+  FirstQuote = <<SQL
+  SELECT ids.user_id, q.post_id, q.created_at granted_at
+  FROM
+  (
+    SELECT p1.user_id, MIN(q1.id) id
+    FROM quoted_posts q1
+    JOIN badge_posts p1 ON p1.id = q1.post_id
+    JOIN badge_posts p2 ON p2.id = q1.quoted_post_id
+    WHERE (:backfill OR ( p1.id IN (:post_ids) ))
+    GROUP BY p1.user_id
+  ) ids
+  JOIN quoted_posts q ON q.id = ids.id
+SQL
+
+  FirstLink = <<SQL
+  SELECT l.user_id, l.post_id, l.created_at granted_at
+  FROM
+  (
+    SELECT MIN(l1.id) id
+    FROM topic_links l1
+    JOIN badge_posts p1 ON p1.id = l1.post_id
+    JOIN badge_posts p2 ON p2.id = l1.link_post_id
+    WHERE NOT reflection AND p1.topic_id <> p2.topic_id AND not quote AND
+      (:backfill OR ( p1.id in (:post_ids) ))
+    GROUP BY l1.user_id
+  ) ids
+  JOIN topic_links l ON l.id = ids.id
+SQL
+
+  FirstShare = <<SQL
+  SELECT views.user_id, i2.post_id, i2.created_at granted_at
+  FROM
+  (
+    SELECT i.user_id, MIN(i.id) i_id
+    FROM incoming_links i
+    JOIN badge_posts p on p.id = i.post_id
+    WHERE i.user_id IS NOT NULL
+    GROUP BY i.user_id
+  ) as views
+  JOIN incoming_links i2 ON i2.id = views.i_id
+SQL
+
+  FirstFlag = <<SQL
+  SELECT pa1.user_id, pa1.created_at granted_at, pa1.post_id
+  FROM (
+    SELECT pa.user_id, min(pa.id) id
+    FROM post_actions pa
+    JOIN badge_posts p on p.id = pa.post_id
+    WHERE post_action_type_id IN (#{PostActionType.flag_types.values.join(",")}) AND
+      (:backfill OR pa.post_id IN (:post_ids) )
+    GROUP BY pa.user_id
+  ) x
+  JOIN post_actions pa1 on pa1.id = x.id
+SQL
+
+  FirstLike = <<SQL
+  SELECT pa1.user_id, pa1.created_at granted_at, pa1.post_id
+  FROM (
+    SELECT pa.user_id, min(pa.id) id
+    FROM post_actions pa
+    JOIN badge_posts p on p.id = pa.post_id
+    WHERE post_action_type_id = 2 AND
+      (:backfill OR pa.post_id IN (:post_ids) )
+    GROUP BY pa.user_id
+  ) x
+  JOIN post_actions pa1 on pa1.id = x.id
+SQL
+
+  # Incorrect, but good enough - (earlies post edited vs first edit)
+  Editor = <<SQL
+  SELECT p.user_id, min(p.id) post_id, min(p.created_at) granted_at
+  FROM badge_posts p
+  WHERE p.self_edits > 0 AND
+      (:backfill OR p.id IN (:post_ids) )
+  GROUP BY p.user_id
+SQL
+
+  Welcome = <<SQL
+  SELECT p.user_id, min(post_id) post_id, min(pa.created_at) granted_at
+  FROM post_actions pa
+  JOIN badge_posts p on p.id = pa.post_id
+  WHERE post_action_type_id = 2 AND
+      (:backfill OR pa.post_id IN (:post_ids) )
+  GROUP BY p.user_id
+SQL
+
+  Autobiographer = <<SQL
+  SELECT u.id user_id, current_timestamp granted_at
+  FROM users u
+  JOIN user_profiles up on u.id = up.user_id
+  WHERE bio_raw IS NOT NULL AND LENGTH(TRIM(bio_raw)) > #{Badge::AutobiographerMinBioLength} AND
+        uploaded_avatar_id IS NOT NULL AND
+        (:backfill OR u.id IN (:user_ids) )
+SQL
+
+  # member for a year + has posted at least once during that year
+  OneYearAnniversary = <<-SQL
+  SELECT u.id AS user_id, MIN(u.created_at + interval '1 year') AS granted_at
+    FROM users u
+    JOIN posts p ON p.user_id = u.id
+   WHERE u.id > 0
+     AND u.active
+     AND NOT u.blocked
+     AND u.created_at + interval '1 year' < now()
+     AND p.deleted_at IS NULL
+     AND NOT p.hidden
+     AND p.created_at + interval '1 year' > now()
+     AND (:backfill OR u.id IN (:user_ids))
+   GROUP BY u.id
+   HAVING COUNT(p.id) > 0
+SQL
+
+  def self.invite_badge(count,trust_level)
+"
+  SELECT u.id user_id, current_timestamp granted_at
+  FROM users u
+  WHERE u.id IN (
+    SELECT invited_by_id
+    FROM invites i
+    JOIN users u2 ON u2.id = i.user_id
+    WHERE i.deleted_at IS NULL AND u2.active AND u2.trust_level >= #{trust_level.to_i} AND not u2.blocked
+    GROUP BY invited_by_id
+    HAVING COUNT(*) >= #{count.to_i}
+  ) AND u.active AND NOT u.blocked AND u.id > 0 AND
+    (:backfill OR u.id IN (:user_ids) )
+"
+  end
+
+  def self.like_badge(count, is_topic)
+    # we can do better with dates, but its hard work
+"
+  SELECT p.user_id, p.id post_id, p.updated_at granted_at
+  FROM badge_posts p
+  WHERE #{is_topic ? "p.post_number = 1" : "p.post_number > 1" } AND p.like_count >= #{count.to_i} AND
+    (:backfill OR p.id IN (:post_ids) )
+"
+  end
+
+  def self.trust_level(level)
+    # we can do better with dates, but its hard work figuring this out historically
+"
+  SELECT u.id user_id, current_timestamp granted_at FROM users u
+  WHERE trust_level >= #{level.to_i} AND (
+    :backfill OR u.id IN (:user_ids)
+  )
+"
+  end
+
+  def self.sharing_badge(count)
+<<SQL
+  SELECT views.user_id, i2.post_id, current_timestamp granted_at
+  FROM
+  (
+    SELECT i.user_id, MIN(i.id) i_id
+    FROM incoming_links i
+    JOIN badge_posts p on p.id = i.post_id
+    WHERE i.user_id IS NOT NULL
+    GROUP BY i.user_id,i.post_id
+    HAVING COUNT(*) > #{count}
+  ) as views
+  JOIN incoming_links i2 ON i2.id = views.i_id
+SQL
+  end
+
+  def self.linking_badge(count)
+    <<-SQL
+        SELECT tl.user_id, post_id, current_timestamp granted_at
+          FROM topic_links tl
+          JOIN posts p  ON p.id = post_id    AND p.deleted_at IS NULL
+          JOIN topics t ON t.id = p.topic_id AND t.deleted_at IS NULL AND t.archetype <> 'private_message'
+         WHERE NOT tl.internal
+           AND tl.clicks >= #{count}
+      GROUP BY tl.user_id, tl.post_id
+    SQL
+  end
+
+  def self.liked_posts(post_count, like_count)
+    <<-SQL
+      SELECT p.user_id, current_timestamp AS granted_at
+      FROM posts AS p
+      WHERE p.like_count >= #{like_count}
+        AND (:backfill OR p.user_id IN (:user_ids))
+      GROUP BY p.user_id
+      HAVING count(*) > #{post_count}
+    SQL
+  end
+
+  def self.like_rate_limit(count)
+    <<-SQL
+      SELECT gdl.user_id, current_timestamp AS granted_at
+      FROM given_daily_likes AS gdl
+      WHERE gdl.limit_reached
+        AND (:backfill OR gdl.user_id IN (:user_ids))
+      GROUP BY gdl.user_id
+      HAVING COUNT(*) >= #{count}
+    SQL
+  end
+
+  def self.liked_back(likes_received, likes_given)
+    <<-SQL
+      SELECT us.user_id, current_timestamp AS granted_at
+      FROM user_stats AS us
+      WHERE us.likes_received >= #{likes_received}
+        AND us.likes_given >= #{likes_given}
+        AND (:backfill OR us.user_id IN (:user_ids))
+    SQL
+  end
+
+  def self.has_user_first(type)
+    <<SQL
+  SELECT uf.user_id, uf.post_id, uf.created_at AS granted_at
+  FROM user_firsts AS uf
+  WHERE (:backfill OR uf.user_id IN (:user_ids))
+    AND uf.first_type = #{UserFirst.types[type]}
+SQL
+  end
+
+end
diff --git a/lib/cooked_post_processor.rb b/lib/cooked_post_processor.rb
index ea82b730a..58c599b75 100644
--- a/lib/cooked_post_processor.rb
+++ b/lib/cooked_post_processor.rb
@@ -28,6 +28,23 @@ class CookedPostProcessor
       post_process_oneboxes
       optimize_urls
       pull_hotlinked_images(bypass_bump)
+      create_firsts
+    end
+  end
+
+  def create_firsts
+    created = false
+
+    if @doc.css("img.emoji").size > 0
+      created |= UserFirst.create_for(@post.user_id, :used_emoji, @post.id)
+    end
+
+    if @doc.css("span.mention, a.mention").size > 0
+      created |= UserFirst.create_for(@post.user_id, :mentioned_user, @post.id)
+    end
+
+    if created
+      BadgeGranter.queue_badge_grant(Badge::Trigger::PostProcessed, user: @post.user)
     end
   end
 
diff --git a/spec/models/user_firsts_spec.rb b/spec/models/user_firsts_spec.rb
new file mode 100644
index 000000000..69bc5996d
--- /dev/null
+++ b/spec/models/user_firsts_spec.rb
@@ -0,0 +1,33 @@
+require 'rails_helper'
+
+describe UserFirst do
+
+  let(:user) { Fabricate(:user) }
+
+  context "#create_for" do
+    it "doesn't raise an error on duplicate" do
+      expect(UserFirst.create_for(user.id, :used_emoji)).to eq(true)
+      expect(UserFirst.create_for(user.id, :used_emoji)).to eq(false)
+    end
+  end
+
+  it "creates one the first time a user posts an emoji" do
+    post = PostCreator.create(user, title: "this topic is about candy", raw: "time to eat some sweet :candy: mmmm")
+
+    uf = UserFirst.where(user_id: user.id, first_type: UserFirst.types[:used_emoji]).first
+    expect(uf).to be_present
+    expect(uf.post_id).to eq(post.id)
+  end
+
+  context 'mentioning' do
+    let(:codinghorror) { Fabricate(:codinghorror) }
+
+    it "creates one the first time a user mentions another" do
+      post = PostCreator.create(user, title: "gonna mention another user", raw: "what is up @codinghorror?")
+      uf = UserFirst.where(user_id: user.id, first_type: UserFirst.types[:mentioned_user]).first
+      expect(uf).to be_present
+      expect(uf.post_id).to eq(post.id)
+    end
+  end
+
+end